a day in the life

I tried to go to class and ended up dancing in the streets at 1pm.
"Nooooo THIS is how gay men dance."

I tried to see Al Gore and David Suzuki speak at Place d'Armes yesterday and instead ended up with a 1.5 L bottle of champagne in a converted shoe factory talking my way out of the headquarters of an separatist election campaigner. But only after my friend and I used their facilities.
"Uhm, I don't think they can help us break into your friend's loft..."

I tried to go swimming and ended up dancing in my bikini to Kriss Kross and Salt-n-Pepa.
"In your nice jeans, you give me nice dreams, ooo ooo OOOO! when you do, what you do, you make me wanna shoop..."

I tried to eat at a pizza parlour and ended up running away from scary homeless men in the village.
"DAMN, and I left my heroin at home..."

I tried to go to Parking and ended up piling into a one-person peep-show booth with 3 of my friends.
"Are you all friends?"
"Yeah, we are all really close..."

I tried to go home and ended up at Club Date where a queen was singing a duet.... solo.
"That's not versatility, that's multiple personalities."

I'm overstimulated and undernourished. And I have to move far far far away from the village. There is just too much to do in this neighbourhood.
"Maybe I should throw up. That's what people do when they drink this much, right?"