Showtime

I'm in this play that at times has felt more detrimental to my education than helpful. School productions are there to give us hands-on experience and to give us a chance to work with professional theatre artists outside the classroom. But we didn't have enough time, the director gave up on a lot of really great ideas early on and it's really difficult to be in 4 classes and a job, ontop of spending 20 hours a week in the theatre. Real life is busy but not like this. This was painful. No wonder my kidney ceased to be a happy little kidney. It takes a whole lot to slow me down and my body knows this. A little head cold might knock some sense into other people, but for me, it takes a trip to a hospital and stern words from a doctor telling me to not do a damn thing for a few days.

I just got off the phone with my mother, who, as predicted, does not understand my desire to go part-time next semester. I don't have enough time to learn everything properly. I especially don't have the time to learn MY way and do assignments MY way, while remaning within the system. That requires lots of time to think. And I don't have that time this semester.

I spent September and October running from class to class, doing my homework an hour before the due date, being cranky to my roommate, learning lines every little chance I got and then running back and forth between my house and my boyfriend's.

That is not fun. I don't care if this is supposed to be the best time of your life, or whatever other bunk people tell you about university, I'm too fucking busy. I'm told to just churn out the same crap over and over again. I'm told not to crack under the immense pressure to get good grades. I'm told that jumping through little hoops is preparing me for the real world. I don't have time to live and if university is preparing me for life, I think there is something wrong with that equation.

I'm in this program because I want to get better at telling stories to people. I like seeing people stand up clapping after the story has been concluded. I like listening to the silence that happens when people don't know whether to clap or not. I know I'm going to do great things in theatre and Concordia has helped me to realize this by giving me something to protest and work against.
Anywho, enough of the bitching. I'm off to prepare for tonight's show.