looming september doom doom doom

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AUGUST IS ALMOST OVER!!!!!!

oh the insanity!
the unfairness!

its nearly goddamn september and i'm nearly 21 years old and tomorrow i'm going to wake up and the world will be out of oil and i will be a prune.

I HAVE 2 YEARS LEFT OF UNIVERSITY!

excuse me world, but what the fuck is that? do you honestly expect that i will be a competent productive independent member of society in 24 months? less than 24 months?! holy shit.

this is my annual freak out time. but its never been this bad before. i feel like i'm staring down the ugly fanged mouth of the rest of my life. last year i was blissfully blind to whatever 'independent' 20 something life was. now i'm blindlingly aware of my surroundings and it makes me want to vomit into a pair of my heels.

here is what might happen in the next month:

1 - cardiac arrest. if i drink enough coffee and do enough cocaine (to battle my sleep debt) and then smoke enough cigarettes, i might just have a heart attack.
2 - sleeping 16 hours a day. just thinking about the immense amount of stuff i have to do makes me tired.
3 - i might kill my boyfriend. he is staying at my apartment while his place is getting all fixed up. i really hope i won't kill him, he's nice to have around. but if the stress doesn't kill me, my stress might just kill him.
4 - i might kill my roommate. for the same reasons i might kill my boyfriend.
5 - they might kill each other. which would probably make me leave town and never come back. 6 - i might burn my apartment down. i have too much stuff. i like my copper pot, my bed, my red cowboy boots and my cats. everything else can go.
7 - i might... and this is highly unlikely, suck it up and deal with my stress in a constructive manner.

goddammit someone pass me a beer and a smoke. it's gonna be a looooong year.