A Christmas Rant

The holidays are upon us and there is nothing like Christmas to remind us all of the stupid formalities we all adhere to. I suppose it is natural for 7 siblings to have cycles of hating and loving. But is it natural to take to the next generation down with them? My cousins and I are so optimistic that "Why Can't We Be Friends" pops into my head. All we want is to have the whole family together for one peaceful evening a year.

On a scale of one to ten, I rate this year's gettogether at a 4. Not exactly fun but hey, only one or two direct insults were thrown across the table.

My real problem with it is how everyone seems to only care about the material things in life. Actually, they believe that the material things really matter. Here I was thinking that what really mattered was the human being in the house, not the house itself.

In my meager twenty years of existence I am proud that I have learned how to distinguish between Meaningless Drivel and What Really Matters. My knowledge gives me the great pleasure of watching adults twice my age struggle through all the Meaningless Drivel that defines their existence.

I struggled through this dinner with 25 of my relatives (to whom I do not relate) wanting to yell inappropriate things. I want to scream to my uncles that having the most expensive car means NOTHING in the long run. Tell my aunts that the next time they ask a question about my life and not care about my answer, that is not because my life is boring. It is because they can't see anything that is slightly off a linear path.

All of a sudden, I have been propelled into adult land. Now there are high expectations of me. Remember, the only time we can see expectations crystal clear is when we aren't living up to them.

If I was in commerce or marketing, well no fucking problem there. Noone would ask me "where is that going to take you?". Well, I'm in a theatre program at a university and it sucks. So I'm being persecuted for being in a theatre program, for not liking university, for living with my boyfriend, for not wanting a day job. I'm looked at as the black sheep of the family that noone understands or tries to understand. I'm asked questions and I answer and they talk at me about other more lucrative buisnesses.

Yes my uncle was able to buy a Cadillac STwhatever with his gazebo selling business but godddammit if I really wanted a cadillac or a porsche or a fucking mansion I would not be in CANADIAN THEATRE.

I am just trying to make sense of where I fit in the world and my place in my family seemed like a logical starting point. It's just hard to truly consider myself a member of that family when their values are so diluted.