Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Happy Valentine's Day

February is a notoriously bad month. We have just suffered through 3 months of winter and the end is supposedly near, but chances are, it's still going to be colder than a witch's tit in a week and the snow is not going anywhere for at least another month. So what do we intelligent humans do? Place a stupid Hallmark holiday in the middle of the Hell Month to spite the already depressed singletons and to stress out those in a relationship.

I generally compensate by breaking up with whomever I am with about a week or so before February 14th. Noone said I had to be logical.

This year, I didn't break up with my boyfriend and we pulled out of our rough patch with a few scratches and bruises, but nothing that time won't heal. So stupidly I began to look forward to Valentine's Day. I haven't had a proper Valentine's Day ever in my whole life and I figured this would be the year to have lovely evening on the one day that TV tells me to.

Fate, which is often superb at bursting bubbles, got in the way of V-Day once again.

After getting out of rehearsal at 10pm last night I went to my boyfriend's apartment only to find him missing in action. So I sat around in a ridiculous outfit for 45 minutes waiting for him to get home. How romantic. When he finally got home, he produced the best Valentine's Day gift a girl could get: tampons and tylenol.

I don't know why I bothered to dress up like a sex kitten only to remember that my cramps are going to impede any possible romps in the sack. Basically I was just a failed tease. A cranky, crampy, impatient girl dressed up like a stripper.

I'm now cancelling all future February 14ths. Take out the 14th, tack on the 29th permanently and the 30th will be the new leap year date.

I doubt that there will be many complaints.

1 comment:

Jay said...

One small gesture of love is by sending flowers. You can check out my Poulsbo Florist for some great deals. ^^