this side of paradise

i packed my bag and got on a train to ottawa
two hours later i was welcomed by my mother's warm hug
two hours after that i got out of my parent's car and tears streamed down my face

i have never felt so relieved to smell the pine needles
to hear the crunch of sand and stone under my feet
to breathe in clean, fresh air

i could see the stars clearer than i can see the city lights from my apartment here in montreal

i fell asleep to the sound of bullfrogs and i awoke to the chatter of chipmunks and birds

i knew i needed a rest in a quiet land
i knew i needed out of my tiny apartment
and i really knew i needed to not wait tables and sling martinis for the snooty westmount crowd

but i had no idea that i needed it that badly
or that it would feel like a miracle cure for a mystery disease

it wasn't home to me
it wasn't nostalgia for what past generations lived
but how do i explain the feeling of homesickness i have now?
the first sight of montreal's skyline usually fills me with excitement and wonder
my journey back filled me with sadness

i would gladly take 4 more bee stings
10 more horsefly bites
3 more sunburns
if i could just listen to the trees sing for a few more days

i would even take down the dock and put it back in
(again)
if i could just swim with the fishes for a few more days

because that pathetic little pond in parc lafontaine is just not cutting it.