girl meets boy

I met the man of my dreams last night. Well, if I had man dreams he would probably be in it. Actually, in order to meet the man of one's dreams, you would have to be able to imagine that a man like him actually exists. Which is totally inconceivable in my case.

I met a sexy and rich owner of a sex toy distribution website. He was wearing a "take the Pepsi challenge" T-shirt, but that is forgivable. Other than that, he is truly the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

He had that cleaned up messy look. Slightly pretty but enough scruff to keep him in the "grr".

Okay, so he's a fag.

But imagine this - I still met the only beautiful sex toy specialist. And that in and of itself is remarkable.

Why are the people who sell sex toys so damn ugly? They have great social skills, are completely comfortable in their own skin - and it's just a fuckin shame that the skin they are in is horrendous.

And rich to boot? Often the wealthy ones are not that cute - except for one of the Molson playboys.

So, immediately following introductions to the sextoy man, I shocked the hell out of him. And I can bet that he sees and hears it all. Props to me.

"Sooooooo, I'm like free for the rest of my life."

Followed by earth shattering silence.

Followed by my immediate exit.

I don't know where I get these behavioural issues. What normal human being says something like that? More importantly, how many girls say things so forward? To a gay man. I think I just outmanned a homo.